Carlotta Corradi

IN THE WOODS


Nomination Italian Playwrights Project 3th edition (2020/22)

excerpt translated by Thomas Simpson

EXPLICIT CONTENTS (watch the video)

CHARACTERS

(from 7 to 9)

Prof a university professor
Manu15 years old
Chiara 16 years old
Iris Manu’s mother
/ Nonna Manu’s grandmother
Monica Chiara’s mother
Lollo the boss
Duro the administrator
Striscia the dealer
/ Baffo a customer
/ Uno a man who frequents 69

a line break indicates time. Pauses and silences are indicated.

The lyrics of the songs are given in italics.

“In the Woods” is inspired by the events of Baby Callgirl scandal in Rome’s Parioli neighborhood. Characters and events in the play are entirely invented.

ACT ONE

SCENE 1 / IN THE CLASSROOM

 

One day a girl
Was senbt by her mother
To her grandmother’s house.

The girl walked through the woods
With her basket full of food
And her usual skirt.

Once the girl reached
Her grandmother’s house
She ate a little bit of meat
Her grandmother offered her.

Then the woman asked her to take off her clothes
and get in bed
To take off
That pretty red riding hood of hers...

The girl hesitated.

How strange her grandma looked...
Eyes, ears and hairy hands
But she was wearing a skirt.

“Tell me, my sweet grandma
Why should I take off my skirt?”
But even as she was speaking
she was already taking off her clothes.

She was naked and round
And in place of the grandma
A deep, harsh voice answered:
“Because from today on my baby
you don’t need any clothes;
You’re starting on a path
Where things will amaze you.

Only then did Red Riding Hood understand.

The one who had seemed a familiar face
Was actually an evil wolf
Hungry and vulgar.

The wolf made a point of explaining:
That meat she’d given her to eat
was the flesh of her grandma. 

– I gulped her all down
Your pretty little grandma
in one big mouthful
with all her skirt too. 

Red Riding hood opened wide
her great little-girl eyes
But the wolf opened
his cruel mouth even wider . 

All it took was a mouthful
And he devoured that little girl.

Prof:

The PROF puts on white cotton gloves and writes in chalk on the blackboard:
ORAL TRADITION – FOURTEENTH CENTURY.

SCENE 2 / IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

MANU lights a cigarette. CHIARA is tweezing her eyebrows before the mirror.

MANU:       I don’t like hairs.

CHIARA:     Don’t try to tell me.

MANU:       What a bore.

CHIARA:     And the waxing is required.
I’m telling you.

MANU:       I know!
I mean the mens’ hair.
I don’t like
hairy men.

CHIARA:     Look, men are hairy.

MANU:       Lollo’s not hairy
He’s smooth.

CHIARA:     Look, Lollo is young.

MANU:       He’s 38.

CHIARA:     Look, at 38 you’re still not so adult.

MANU:       Look, at 38 you’re also not a kid anymore.

CHIARA:     Yes but
Look, it’s not like all men are like Lollo.

MANU:       Look, I know.

CHIARA:     Look look look.

 Manu takes a drag of the cigarette.

MANU:       For me f you ask me, I think…

CHIARA:     For me if you ask me…

MANU:       I know.

CHIARA:     How’d you get an A- in Italian?

MANU:       A- in reading.
For oral I got a B.

CHIARA:     So you don’t write 
For me if you ask me?

MANU:       No
When I write I have time to think.

CHIARA:     And in oral you don’t think?

MANU:       I rush.

CHIARA:     That’s sort of your problem, I hear.

MANU:       You hear from who?

CHIARA:     From Lollo.

Manu takes a drag on the cigarette.

MANU:       He told you that?

CHIARA:     He says you can tell you’re in a hurry to make him come. You’re like on a blowjob assembly line.

MANU:       What’s that mean?

CHIARA:     When you do it you do it
Up and down up and down so fast
Hoping it happens as fast as possible
And that freezes him up.

MANU:       The hurry?

CHIARA:     The hurry
Up and down too fast
It’s the thing you’re trying to rush.

MANU:       But I don’t want to rush.

CHIARA:     Then you don’t kn ow how to do it.

MANU:       So for him he didn’t like it?

CHIARA:     For him he is like For me I.

MANU:       He didn’t like it?
Did he tell you that?
Lollo?
He didn’t like it?

CHIARA:     I don’t know.

Manu takes a drag on the cigarette.

MANU:       You have to go slow?

CHIARA:     No, otherwise he’ll never come.

MANU:       Then I don’t understand.

CHIARA:     Look, you don’t have to understand
You have to feel
Each one is different
Each one wants it done just for him.

Manu gets a text message. The two girls look at the cellphone. Manu doesn’t move.

CHIARA      Open. Come on!

MANU        You mean...?

CHIARA:     Open it!

Manu reads.

MANU:       They found it!

CHIARA:     Great. What’s it say?

MANU:       (Reading) 2.30. A nice blowjob coming in for you, baby…
(Pause) Don’t rush : P Lollo.

CHIARA:     Don’t worry. It’s nothing.

MANU:       Why did Lollo find me a client if he didn’t like me?

CHIARA:     He’s testing you.

The bell rings.

MANU:       Shit.

CHIARA:     Follow the breathing.
If you hear it’s deep and slow you’re doing good.
But if it doesn’t change
You’re doing the same thing for too long.
Try something else.
And if the breathing accelerates
You’re doing good.
If it stops
You’re doing bad so try something else again.
In sum, follow the breathing.

MANU:       I follow the breathing.

CHIARA:     If you don’t hear the breathing
Watch the belly
It has to go up and down.

MANU:       And if he’s fat?

CHIARA:     It’s still the same.

MANU:       Because
He might be fat?

CHIARA:     Of course
Put out the cigarette, it’s late.

 Manu throws the cigarette on the floor.

 CHIARA:    Great!

 Chiara offers her hand to give five fingers. Manu returns the gesture and heads to the exit.

CHIARA:     Beautiful.

MANU:       You’re not coming?

CHIARA:     No, art, I’m skipping.

MANU:       See out on the way out.
Or is Lollo coming to get you?

CHIARA:     Don’t worry
I’m with you.

 Manu runs to hug her.

MANU:       Thank you.